CONVERTsations

It is that time of year for those dreaded, tense holiday conversations. Who's house will you be going to for the holidays? Yours or your spouse's family. I doubt many have a completely functional family where there isn't the inevitable family mini feud.

Simple idle chit chat turns as sour as the sippy cup full of milk that you found under the seat of the minivan that has been missing since July. RUN!!! Run away fast. That is probably your first instinct when you hear words like, "what's wrong with my mother?" To tell you the truth, it's not a bad instinct. Sometimes it would be best to remove yourself from the situation. Just to regroup. If you avoid the situation all together your packing a pipe bomb full of shrapnel that will get you later.

• Change the subject - This is not always easy to do, nonetheless with tact. The key is to make a positive change. Finding a new topic that YOU feel you are in a better position to defend is just stepping from the frying pan into the fire.
• Identify goals - That conversation you just dodged, there was a reason it was brought up. As with everything there are two sides to the story, what are they and can they be melded.
• Converse toward a common end - Bring the subject up again once you have identified a common end. The trick here is to let the other party think it was there idea. Otherwise you appear as though you have "thought it through," and feel prepared to go on the offensive. If this happens, prepare to start the process all over.

I hope you the best with your holiday conversations in the coming weeks. I hope you are able to convert some of those dicy conversations that seem so common place this time of year. Please feel free share some of your stories.

Six Months

Wow! Almost six months since I last posted. I think I went into a technological coma there for awhile. Blogging was fun at first because I had that element of reality interjected. You see I was able to see my classmates Eric and Erik on a weekly basis, along with my prof Tim Johnson. All bloggers.

I've since graduated and lost that touch of reality. In my mind I know blogging should have been a conduit to extend those "real life" relationships. But like I said, I went into technological shutdown.

So here goes a running start to shock my technological being back to life. After all, I did recently get addicted to Facebook.

Sunrise

Life has thrown a few curve balls my way recently. The good thing is that I feel more like the umpire and am not the person standing at the plate. My 5 year old nephew who lives a block away was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and about a month later my father-in-law was diagnosed with bladder cancer. I am in health care and feel completely helpless. All I can do is stand by and watch.

While I have been watching I can't help but notice a transition in my own approach to the recent events. Take my sister-in-law for example; first her son is diabetic and then her dad has cancer. For the longest time all I could do was focus on the pity I felt for her and the individuals going through the disease. Then I realized, where there's pity there can be compassion. Where there's despair there is hope, fear is quelled by faith and adversity creates opportunity. It is all really a matter of perspective.

Randy Pausch's, "Last Lecture" has made the news quite a bit lately. The awareness of Randy's perspective and watching those I love, respect and admire (my sister-in-law and father-in-law) has changed my perspective. The picture from FreeFoto.com is of a sunrise. Had you not known that one could easily mistaken it for a sunset.

May your sunrise bring compassion, hope, faith and opportunity.

Who Put This Board In My Eye?

“’ Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” – Matthew 7:3

I have really been giving this verse a lot of thought lately. In particular in what I bring to a conversation. I'll be the first to admit that I form judgments of those I'm having a conversation with:

"This person doesn't really want to help me on this project. They feel obligated."

"That committee has members that just show up to put their time in; they never did and never will contribute."

"My wife thinks so black and white she'll never accept that alternative."

The point is that there is a big difference between exercising judgment and passing judgment. Far too often I probably am passing judgment; which is god's job. I need to work on exercising judgment once I've collect enough information to do so.

Are you passing judgment or exercising judgment?

Just Scan the Tomato Already!

No one knows customer service like The Acme Catalog. Wile E. Coyote didn't even need a mailing address to have is order delivered. And what wasn't in the catalog? Rockets, boomerangs and roller skates Oh My!

I recently posted about the lack of customer service at my local gas station. The attendant conducted business while pinching the phone between her ear and her shoulder. The whole time speaking to whoever was on the other end. What about me?! I am standing in front of you with money in hand waiting to patronize your business; and I am virtually ignored.

I now have a beef with the other end of the customer service spectrum. I do most of my grocery shopping at Super Target. I have shopped there for years. I recognize many of the employees and occasionally engage in trivial conversation as I conduct my business.

Recently, Target's push for customer service has been very evident. I have not made a single visit with out having someone ask if I needed help finding something; often more than once. I probably wouldn't need help if they would stop changing there product placement every other month. How many times will they invest the time to move the baby food to the other end of the same isle? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being asked if I need help. Though after seeing me 2-4 times a week you would think they would recognize me by now.

I do mind them delving into my personal life. I understand they are making an attempt at customer service. However, they are trying to put a small town twist on a conglomeration that sees 10 times the traffic of a small town store. When I blog I often am consciously scarce on details of my family, simply because I am somewhat private and don't think this is the venue to broadcast details like that. No offense but I don't know some of you. So when I go to Target and they start asking how old my children are, if they are in school, when there birthdays are... I get irritated. In addition I really don't like them analyzing my purchases and asking about them. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "I see we're having pizza tonight," or "Looks like tacos are on the menu." There has to be a better way to engage the customer. If you really cared, like a small town store, you would remember me and not ask me every time I come in how old my children are. There is a huge disconnect when as this store makes there apparent attempt to connect with the customer.

Have you had similar situations? Has anyone else noticed the push for a change in customer service at Target stores? I'd like to here what you have to say. If you have suggestions on how to politely tell the teller to bud out of my business I would greatly appreciate that as well.

Excuse me? Can you tell me how to get to...

Social media...Social what? Are there cocktails at these events? The fact of the matter is that if you are reading this you have an inkling of what social media is (blogs, twitter, facebook, myspace...) The question is can it work for you? I am eagerly awaiting the second release of the Age of Conversation, put together by Drew McLellan and Gavin Heaton. I have read the first edition and thoroughly enjoyed it. This time I even know some of the 275 contributing authors. One of my professors, Tim Johnson is joined by two of my classmates, Eric Peterson and Erik Potter and 272 others in giving us some reasons why people still don't get it. Kudos to you all.

I think there are several out there trying. There just seems to be a gigantic lack of direction despite resources such as the Age of Conversations and blogs like Converstations and Successful and Outstanding Bloggers. Marta Strickland outlines some possible errs in the usage of social media here. It seems as though there are companies willing to just through money away. The reality is that they are throwing away more than money; they are having negative impacts on their brand equity. Some companies, such as Coke may have a little equity to spare on trials such as this. However, I really wonder if there is a lot of thought put into how these attempts at social media impacts brand equity. Valeria Maltoni has a personal take on the sufferings of brand equity here.

The point is, whether your company or you yourself,are out there in the cyber space of social media, your name is on the line. Some day your name may be worth more than you think. I'm curious if you feel like you lack direction. I'm even more curious if you have tips in finding direction.

My 4x4 Assignment

Joanna Young has a project for us. This is my attempt to meet her deadline of midnight on March 28th. The project? 4x4 Sources of Writing Inspiration. She lays out the rules on her blog Confident Writing. I wasn't really up for the challenge until I happened upon a rather amusing ramble by Robert Hruzek at Middle Zone Musings. I suggest taking a peek.

This has been an excellent exercise for me. I chose the senses. If you read the rules before getting this far, your probably saying wait a minute aren't there 5 senses not 4? You would be correct and there in lies one revelation, I do not rely on taste as much as the other senses. Maybe I will pay more attention to tastes from now on. The other revelation was that I draw inspiration from nostalgia. I don't necessarily find the particular smell, touch, sight or sound to be inspiring. Rather I'm inspired by the relationship I have associated with the sense. I'll let the psychologists pick that one apart.

So here it goes.....

4x4 Sources of Writing Inspiration: by Bob Loch

4 Smells

1. I'm a sucker for fresh cut grass. Doesn't seem to matter if I do the cutting or not. If I am the driver of gas powered lawn Flowbee I savor the smell; that means I can relax and have an ice cold bottle of the working man's champagne. Even as a pedestrian on a finely manicured lawn with eighteen strategically placed holes, the same feeling overcomes me.
2. As summer fades from green to orange, yellow and red; then finally to gray, I relish in the aroma of burning leaves as they seem to permeate the countryside.
   
3. Seasons appear to be a repeating theme here as I think about the odor that accompanies the lake shore on late summer afternoon. I had the privilege of transitioning from boy to man in small Minnesota town. As opposed to my wife, who won't swim in any body of water that is devoid of chlorine, I thrive on the smell of dried weeds, algae and yes even a dead fish or two.
4. To get off the topic of seasons, my last scent is that of a new baby diaper. What isn't inspiring about new life? While a slightly used, or out right soiled on will do; I prefer a new one. I will miss the day the last of my children carry with them the fresh aroma of purity and innocence.

4 Sensations

1. Remember dating? Remember the sweaty palms anticipating some kind of physical contact? I still feel this way with my wife. It's not the deliberate caresses as much as it is the accidental brushes as we walk together. It still sends lightening through me as it did when we first met.
2. I'm as bad as my kids sometimes when it rains. I too love to run in the rain and feel it as it soaks my soul. Rain carries from the heavens a renewal of life. It satisfies the thirsty and gives relief to the exhausted.
3. While I am barely a student of the guitar, I love the way it feels in my arms. I crave my practice sessions as my fingers build calluses navigating the frets. Somehow this grabs the artist within me by the shoulders and shakes.
4. Though I am not a proponent of drugs, there is one high I can relate to; a runner's high. The sweet release of a runner's high gives you the sensation of complete relaxation while also feeling in control and well accomplished.
   

4 Sights

1. I mentioned earlier that I was raised in Minnesota. I now live in Iowa. As I navigate the Iowa back country I am mesmerized by the shadows cast down by the clouds on the treeless fields. A soundtrack begins playing in my head as I tune out everything but what I see and the thoughts in my mind.
2. If you have ever been to the Iowa State Fair, you would agree; it's inspiring. The people alone could be fodder for endless pages of creative description. This is the type of event that draws people who wear clothes 2 sizes too small, got dressed in the dark and picked out every tattoo in a drunken stupor.
   
3. I love snow! There I said it. I'm a Minnesotan/Iowan and I love snow. It's incredible! Some nights as I take the garbage out or walk to my car I just stand and watch the snow fall. There is a purity that seems to accompany it. Notice I'm talking about falling snow; not yellow snow.
4. What could make you more aware of your significance, or insignificance, than looking out the window of an airplane. I've always been saddened in the fact that my mother has yet to experience this. You almost feel as though you're taking God's perspective.

4 Sounds

1. One sound that will live with me, whether I hear it again or not, is the sound of a crowd cheering as you finish a marathon. You don't have to be first, or even be running for that matter. The support and encouragement of total strangers give you faith in the human race.
2. Anything by Ella Fitzgerald; enough said.
3. I am in awe of the sounds that accompany an early morning fishing trip. The splash of the boat in the water as the ripples spread across the glass surface and thump an old tire against the dock. There is the hum of a small 5 horsepower Johnson motor propelling you to that secluded spot that is cradled between a wooded shoreline and brown thicket of reeds. The red wing black birds call out as your reel wines, finishing with a plop of your bobber in the water a few feet away.
4. Alone in a wood on a fall afternoon draws me closer to my natural side. Maybe it is the same reason Thoreau found solace in Walden. In particular I enjoy finding a tree to sit against, close my eyes and just listen. Squirrels scurrying through the canopy in hopes to prepare for winter. The rustle of dried leaves as tiny creatures unseen to me, even if I had my eyes open. The call of nature as birds sing, squirrels and chipmunks chatter, and a breeze washes over it all muffling it in the tumble of the forest as it turns over and rests for the winter.

Through reflection and much thought, I've found these are a few of my sources of inspiration.